


;eternal desperation

by OryxBystander



Category: Banana Bus Squad, Gay baby gang
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Body Horror, Child Death, Different species, Hive Mind, Insanity, M/M, Mental Instability, Out of Body Experiences, Out of Character, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Psionics, Refernces To Films/Games, Separate Realities, Somewhat Magical, Temporary Character Death, Unusal Powers, powers, this story makes no sense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-01-31 20:34:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18598921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OryxBystander/pseuds/OryxBystander
Summary: //discontinued//the watchtower cannot fall..the man of the apocalypse must not be freed..or can love free his hated heart..





	1. introduction

**Author's Note:**

> this is just a starter, chapter 1 comes soon  
> cant write lol x  
> also spelling mistakes

 

_silence_ can be a man's best friend when the blood of the wounded is on his hands, the crackle of fires laughing in the background as they burn their way through the screams of those who wish for mercy, the wind dances her way round the dead and burned bodies that lies on the grass, guts just barely rolling their way down the hills, yet that silence that rings in his ears is most common when things  go oh so wrong, a child's dead eyes stare deep into his soul and he can almost feels the claws of death about to rip him apart.

_blood_ can be a psychopaths lover when they smell the stench of their job done well, the will of thousands have been decimated by his command, eyes low down as he walks the path of deaths favour and humble embrace, the blood follows him as if it is their father, bloody footprints light up his path, a child crawls away into their safe bedrooms but only to be greeted with the boogeyman, silence follows before the sirens pick up.

the _mirror_ speaks his name, the cracks bleed out the whispers of wishes, to be free from the captivity of a king who has been shattered in the realm of insanity, he fears his image as it stares back at him with hollowed eyes and a cry for help written on his face as the king tears him away from the peace that lays beyond the shattered mirrors, he bows to no one.

_water_ is a way of peace, the way it runs its course gently against the summer winds is what he wishes for yet he is too weak to understand why he wishes for peace, why he wishes to float in the water and drift away into eternal happiness, he feels only happiness when the sun is smiling down at him and the touches of those he loves, gone now, he's alone now as he stares at the sunsets that haunt him with the screams of those he has failed, he runs away.

the _stars_ are home, the way they dance above the night sky brings an odd feeling of safe, the way they burn and sing against the atmosphere is welcoming as he closes his eyes to drift apart with them as snow falls gently on his face reminding him that he is safe from the monsters that follow him in the dark, he cares not if he dies, he has lost enough already, death would be a paradise as he will be free to become the star he always wished he could of been, a dream can become real if you believe in it.

the _dark_ is not a friend, it never has been and it never will be as it keeps your fears to use against you when the moment is high enough and when you have a rope around your neck, it will drive your mind insane to the point where everything must be burned, must be killed for its sins and the choir must sing the songs of God and purge those who have the souls of the Devil, death cannot be undone and neither can sins..

**_the watchtower cannont fall._ **


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bad bad spelling mistakes so please try your best to ignore them   
> x

how the world is such a beautiful place yet it can unleash horrors onto the foundation of reality and let it crawl its way into your mind exposing you to the jaws of the nightmare children, a horrible death that shall be so I pray your mind is set free from her hands.

life is unusual, unstable and unpredictable yet we continue to value it so much that it can drive a man crazy to grab the rope between his hands and let it flow around it neck allow him to finally breathe a proper breath for one last time, music follows his death and the violins of life give him a send off that even death cries as the body hangs eerily against the moonlight background.

all but a dream that disappears when the eyes of lone man open, john lays silently against the water that begins to gently encourage him to stand up and continue on his path that he has strayed, yet he can't, can't muster up to push against the water, so he stares at the moon that keeps him safe from the oncoming storm.

a smile, a broken smile on his face as he blinks at the moon and prays that the water drowns him but it only whistles against his skin diving deep into him, he needs to leave their home and find his own, a sad whistle follows from the mans mouth as he finally stands, the blood dripping from his back and it taints the water red that they scream.

he only moves away, ignoring the screams from the water and heads back into the forest, watching as the bodies float up into the trees that consume their raped bodies and set them free from the pain, skinned woman run free with their children and the men from war have been purged of forgotten memories, oh how sad john is yet he has to remain sad, sad and lonely in this useless world.

a piano plays in the court of his mind and the voices sing with it, a gentle song of freedom, control and happiness quiver in his court and he wants to run with it, let the song free from his body and sing with the wind yet he cannot, he cannot as the claws of the Devil scar his back and a wavelenght passes by him and he walks on the knives that mother nature had left him as a warning to stay off her children, he ignores the pain as he leaves the dusted forest, he turns as the lips of silence touch his face and he is greeted with the eyes of the dark, peering into his soul almost as a beg. 

a trap that he once fell for, the dark is not a friend and the watchtower cannot fall at the hands of those who wish hell upon those who do not follow the hyms of the man they called dante, those who sings the songs of the queens shall be burned, those who touch the children of war shall be ripped from the heavens and those who follow the way of time shall understand true pain, a religion within a religion will be the death of everyone and everything.

johns eyes keep on a downcast as he walks into an old city that engages in the sexual acts of pain, disgusting yet each to their own he thinks, pain should not be pleasured as it is the act of failure and the mind bending in on itself, how he wants to cry, cry in anger as he hears the moans and cries of pleasure from those, how he wants to show them what real pain is like, they should understand that pain can only be truly understood when the ones you love are taken from you without your consent or even understanding, a violent hill of murder is what must happen but he cannot, he cannot harm those who haven't harmed him so he continues to walk, he'll unleash pain soon.

so many places burned from the anger of a man who only wants to be accepted, he can hear the song of captivity and freedom echo in the sunset and flow itself over the hills that hide them away from the monster that lies in the abyss of the eyes of the innocent, he lifts his eyes against the wind that runs away from the agonising screams of raw anger and emotion yet its not his time to meet the man, his time will come one day so he walks the other way and over the hill that comes down onto bloodied villages, a shame really, poor innocent people caught up in the massacre of a man, he feels out of place as he keeps his eyes up at the world.

he never realised how the world around him was killing everyone, how time had placed itself into everything, how war had been called upon and how there was no way to survive what it was going to throw at you, he stops at the end of the village and closes his eyes, he could feel the breathing down his back and when he turns he was greeted with a child, a small frail thing that had half its face gone, oh how he wants to hug the poor thing yet he cannot.

so he turns back around and leaves the child screaming for him to come back, how many children need to die for the world to become happy with itself again, why must they pay for the mistakes of time and life, why must the courts of humanity pull their strings and demand blood from those who don't even understand what life is, oh how he would fight the kings yet he cannot, he must keep walking on to find the watchtower how it hides so magically beyond the human eye is so annoying but the trickster always knew what to do, oh how he laughed.

"care for a friend?" john sighed turning his head up towards the abandoned building, beedy light eyes of wonderment stared at him and all he could do was nod his head, personally he wanted peace and quiet, not this little bundle of joy (give or take) following him about, he blinked as the bundle of joy crawled out from his homemade nest.

"your staying with me until we make it too elodies hope and then your gone, no arguements" john made some ground rules before the bundle of joy spoke, those little eyes stared up at him with understanding yet also disapointment, but the bundle nodded back as it followed behind john and john already knew the questions that was coming his way.

"why elodies hope?"

called it.

"because iniâh won't let you cross the bridge, she doesn't take well to your kind"

bundle stayed quiet, very quiet that it seemed that his tongue was ripped out his mouth.

"why not?"

a question quiet on the air, an unfair question.

"your kind stole her child, ripped the glass from its eyes and fed it to the waters"

oh.

how sad.

"i'm sorry"

"not your place to say sorry or the right person to say sorry too"

bundle of joy nodded as he walked with a sad swagger in his pace would be funny if they just didn't talk about a murdered child.

"i heard the stories about that but i can't remember when it happened"

john nodded as he looked up at the sky, still a chilling thing to see especially with the wind dancing around him and the guilt still following him.

"you heard the stories from your parents or the walls?"

genuine question.

"the walls, the walls always spoke to me about it, my parents fled when the crimson queen broke our wombs"

john stayed silent, how unfair for him to be left behind, how unatural.

bundle kept walking, he didnt have the strength to even think about being angry at his parents, didnt have the strength to scream into the wind that held his memories.

so john walked with him kept by his side, eyes catching the small tears that ran down his face and turned into dust when the hit the path of raged gambits, how lovely.

it reminded him of his past as stupid as it sounds but a tear can bring back those deep thoughts that you hide behind your locked jails that sit within your mind awaiting the day the gatekeeper gets ahold of those keys, how curel those gatekeepers are.

the night was high, seems quick but time is an illusion when the universe is on the brink of destruction so they strayed there path into a cave that held the blood of innocent children lost to the wars of humanity, lost lives due to a king who had forgotten his rule, a man turned by the death of his wife, death of his kingdom.

"i know what your thinking and its a bad idea"

to meet the king of humanities courts, otherwise known as Brock The Broken Fury, a king who had lost all yet not his hope, john knew that speaking to one of the seven was a terrible idea all those who speak with a king who rules always ends up losing light inside them and replaced with darkness.

but john kept walking that path ignoring the tortued souls that screamed to leave the path and find freedom but he did not listen, leaving the cave of freedom into the burning city that was high on limbs tearing at each other for hope was at all disgusting, the smell of burning flesh and wars happening everywhere made it clear that he was no longer at home.

bundle with his little swagger grabbed john by the arm just gently and pulled him back all the equal, little beading eyes oh so afraid of the humanity shook his head and spoke louldy, this time with fear as his eyes treaded all over the realm.

"he's one of the seven! your insane, no good comes from them, plus  thought we were going elodies hope not the seven!" swagger, lets just call him that for now one shall we, was on the edge of tears as he could see the human moon begin to fall from its perch and scream as the claws of famine was tearing at it, on the horizion there stood the broken king who did nothing but watch as his realm was lost for good, no care for his fellow kind.

john kindly pushed swaggers hand away from his arm and turned his own eyes to the king who looked lost with the stars that was crawling on the blood soaked ground looking for freedom, there is no freedom with humanity.

"yes i know but if you haven't noticed the watchtower is beginning to break and you know what that means so we shoud speak with the seven"

swagger nodded fast, a bit too fast but he's full of energy anyway.

"okay but do you plan to meet all the seven to stop it from falling because if i didnt know any better they would let it fall"

john turned his head back to swagger once brock finally made eye contact with john, a bit scary but brock was already leaving his spot and making his way down to them, give him about five to ten minutes and he'll be there either talking or killing them.

"we have to, all of them would do anything to stop it from falling"

"all of them? are you insane so your telling me that brock, tyler, marcel, craig, brian, fitz and evan would stop it, they live for destruction!"

john literally huffed as he leaned against a wall, fed up with swaggers attitude or whatever you call it so little knowledge.

"they were the ones that locked smitty in the watchtower, they were the ones that stopped him from detonating himself at the nul asbartha and shattered the realms into seprate places"

silence fell as a voice that certainly wasnt theres spoke, loud yet torn with sadness and a hit of fury.

"i must say you are smart for a wonderer who makes his own paths"

ah the king, that oh so broken king.

swagger and john both looked up at the king who had red eyes from the anger that fell upon him many years ago and ripped cheeks from the guilt that had told him to tear the filth of failure away from him and admit that he had failed what he was given, a broken king idea who only wanted humans to understand the foundations of their realities, all too broken by him, all so much dead by his hand and by his heart.

john and swagger went to bow but was waved off by brock who smiled softly at them, something deep hiden within the smile so they both smiled back to ease the fires that were creeping up on them by the eyes of brock.

"my king-"

"no stop, i am not your king and you are not of my kind" 

brock wasn't angry no, no he knew he didnt rule over those that are of 'alien', hes not so sure what john was but he was certain that swagger was the speices of those hated by everyone and everything that has a heart.

swagger whispered a soft sorry as he shrinked a little behind john.

"how unatural of your kind to apologise to a human, if my history is off im sure your kind tried to take over the courts and wipe humanity off the planet"

a little bit angry.

swaggers eyes go big as he does indeed now hide behind john who shows no emotion to the possible threat that lay behind brocks word also not surpirsed that he knew what kind swagger was for after all his is a seven.

"how, how did you know" 

ittle bittle voice from swagger as he peaks his head up from behind john who only moves out the way.

"im one of the seven, i know everything and everyone that steps into my realm but yet i struggle with you john, you are mysterious one may i say"

john only narrowed his eyes before talking, he's already hating that hes talking to this human.

"keep it that way, all you have to know is that we need your help"

brock breathed and turned his back on the two wonderers, no harm in the way of it he just knew that this time would come, time to lock smitty away again and keep him at bay but thats hard to do when anger and chaos are at the pit of the man who wants to end everything, soft words arent going to calm a man down.

"i could sense it, could sense the death, destruction and rage from him, anger changes you as a person and i must say that man has only ever known anger, a horrible and sad life so yes i'll help but my realm is being broken, my courts have been failing and smittys anger is working there way inside them"

the fires still at the mention of smitty, a name that was meant to be banned from everywhere but if the seven are using it then things are getting worse than they seem.

"what do you rule though?"

a question just blurted out without thought by swagger, a still yet peaceful chuckle from brock as he turned back to face them, more of his skin was torn off but no one said a thing, scared to anger the man.

"i rule over the courts that make humanity the way they are so i rule over time, war, power, knowledge, money and love, all things that are human" 

"so how did you and your brothers become the seven and what do the others rule if i may ask, i just want to make sure as i dont feel great just jumping in to trust a seven"

brock nodded as he took a seat from the fire and sat down, if john and swagger were going to meet up with the other seven then who is he to deny them the right to know if it means saving the world brock motioned for them to sit in the fires and listen to him to which they complied, a bit hesitant but did it anyway.

"my brothers rule over many things that make everything whole from the destruction that smitty had created, we were born from his mind and born real by the dark matter that lives in this earth, we were giving powers if you want to say by the matter to keep everything in balance, keep the world from breaking apart so i ruled over human courts like i said before, brian rules over hells courts, craig rules over the universes courts, marcel rules over heavens courts but my other brothers rule over much different things, take evan for a fact he is a seven but he doesnt rule over a court he is our eyes, the eyes of all eyes and he rules over blood, tyler had his kingship torn from him and became insane from the regicide that  happened so he chose to rule over glass taken on the shattered king now and fitz is our shield who rules over the stars, now is that all?"

alot to take in i know,but once it burys deep inside your mind then you should be okay give or take that we forget now and then but john coughed to break the awkward silence that fell on them as brocks skin began to melt from the fire and began to show a scribbled skull that had cries for help on it and a woman screaming from the eyes of his skull while being drowned by glass.

"so bascially brian and marcel are the devil and god"

"in human terms yes but in our terms no, they are just normal kings"

john stood up to stretch his legs, he already knew what the seven was but at least swagger knows now, a little bit of knowledge never hurt anyone who was willing to learn.

"now i know that you are going to my brothers but be warned tyler and evan have been posioned by smittys anger so please show them mercy as they cannot to you, they are still my brothers and i wish to see them free"

john stared at brock who was now just a skull with tearful eyes that held the dying image of his wife and child, a horrible thing to see but he doesnt question it, a seven is much more different from everything else well apart from smitty.

"do not let smitty drag you in, i know you'll be tempted by him but if you fall then we all fall"


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took long, life has gotten in the way   
> -also very very bad spelling mistakes

he was the end of all ends..

he was the father of fathers..

he was the god of gods..

he was the kings of all kings..

he was the universe drinker..

he was the eternal birth..

he was the apocalypse.

he was the eternal end..

he was smitty..

a being with no remorse for those who dare reject his pain, his anger and his lost.

he was going to birth a new universe from his womb, drink all the happiness and love from the world and convert it into something much more horrific and beautiful, give the people what they really deserve and show them the true way to live.

the world wasn't going to convert itself and he wasnt going to let everything run free, times are changing, portals are opening and fires are burning across the skies allowing his mind to slip into reality and begin forming into the watchtower, bring all those from love into hatred and agony, how beautiful that sounds as he sits on his throne made from the guts of a sinner who tainted his love, his hands play with the glass that was thrown into his skin from anger from a king who was shattered and how he plays with his blood, pain is heaven for him, footsteps make him look to his side and the talons that come into view gives a clear inidaction on who it is.

"i heard the river speak to me of the men who are yet to come"

evan, a strange little guy who has the body of many eyes and teeth.

smitty nods and turns his attention back to the world outside him even prison can be a paradise when you cannot leave, he sees the portals on the edge of the world naked to the human eyes and impossible to find on foot but he sees all, along with evan of course, he did make his son to watch the outside worlds.

"a man who has fogotten his past and a creature left to none?"

smitty asked his son who nodded his torn head, a bundle of eyes taken place instead of a skull, very hard to imagine but go along with it.

"yes, both heading to brian's kingdom "

evan watched his father nod again and pull the glass from his hands, blood followed in a straight line as evan stopped blood from falling from his fathers skin and smitty thanked him for a man who hates everything and wants the world to die he does love his sons.

"i see, i want you to find them, lead them and then break them, now go"

with a wave of his hand evan was already gone smitty breathed the fresh air that held screams and stood up from his throne, his eyes looked down to the gatekeeper who was dealing with one of smittys creations of the world he sees around him, an annoyance more like, not a real threat just a creature jumping around him.

the gatekeeper was given the benefit of the doubt from smitty, he dealt well with the creatures that roamed around the bottom of the watchtower and smitty kept him safe from true harm, another person he doesn't harm, a man just doing his job and doing it well might he add.

"fuck off" was the most used word at that moment in time, smitty almost wanted to laugh but he turned his eyes away from the seen below him and returned to the inside of his prison, his walls were nothing more but flesh drawn from himself trying to form his womb inside the watchtower instead of out in the sky all he need do is let the reality in his mind slip out into this one and fuse it with the watchtower, so much work to do and when you cannot leave psyhically it becomes hysterical.

he can hear his flesh move against the wall and his old voice whisper out into the world, those who come close to the watchtower will be swallowed whole and made a new in his world, a time for a new golden age will be soon and he cant wait to bathe in the anger the comes with it.

"for i am the one who greets himself"

smitty turns towards his balcony and sees tyler walking towards him, glass embedded in his body so much that bones have begun to shine through but a smile comes from tyler as he nods to his father in respect, pulling a piece of glass from his stomach and handing it to his father, a written message on it from evan.

smitty nods back at his son and takes the glass from his hand burning him as he reads the message from fitz.

IV. Sorrow Filled Wishes I Greet With   
IV. Two Men Seek Wonder Across My Lands  
IV. I Ask That I Can Awake From Slumber  
IV. My Shield Has Began To Seek My Brothers  
IV. I Await For My Brothers To Enter It   
IV. Forgive Me If I Fail  
IV. I Seek And Await Your Message, O'Father Mine.

smitty watched as tyler's glass began to melt away into blood, dripping onto the floor he wiped his hand on his clothes as looked at tyler, a quick nod to tyler indicating he understood the message.

"tell fitz that he can awake and that his shield is needed across the lands, if he fails then we try again"

"for i am the one who seeks his love and for i am the one who will tell my brothers"

smitty watched as tyler tore glass from his chest and disipate into acid, fitz's home was not exactly the closest so he's not expecting tyler home soon at any given point in time trust him to birth his son in the sky and trust the dark matter to make him rule stars, how unafir.

the nighttime came by slowly and cold, the moon was hiding between the cracks in the sky and the stars were beginning to awake and give the lonely sky company as the orange sky danced alone and the clouds ran by so quickly you could see the mouths crying for help but smitty did nothing to help, he watched from his bed made of silk and cotton very unusual for him but even a monster needs a good sleep.

his dream's as to say is filled with the ripped skin and broken wombs of failed kings and queens who tried to create worlds of their owns and encase them in emotions that emit so much power that those who drink from the saps of their trees burst from the inside and spill themselves silly over trying to feel for it again, smittys world will not be like that.

hard to see from his view that his world that his parents created was nothing more than a test that had failed and he had to be the one to pick up the slack to restart everything, a wonderful job that is to be given, to eat the universe and re-birth it, all he needs now if for everyone to understand but when there are two wonderers out in the wild pretending to be hero's then its tough for a villian to move forward.

he was awake but asleep in his mind when the tower fell away into flowers and the sky had become violet with crystal clouds that held the eyes of a scorned father, his mind was an escape from the horrors that he had put out in the real world, he wants to pretend that he's done the right thing but he knows whole that its wrong but happiness must be taken and he would do anything to be back with his lover, as the old ones say.

he thinks he found peace but that falls once the sky breaks and his voice is heard screaming for peace, anger and death but he does nothing but watch as blood follows behind drowning out his mind and flooding his eyes with visions of the past, present and future all ruled by his thorned crown, a light covered in webs and a city burned by lust, peace was never an option and it will never be an option until he gets what he wants.

so he watches as the place he grew in his mind become shattered by the truth, he smiles, he for once smiles as he can see his plan become true and when the blood of the innocent will be on his hands then he will laugh, the weak must become strong to live anew and he will kill them again and again until they understand that they must become better to live again or else they will be trapped in the never ending loop of dying.

john was all he could hear and it only made him more angry yet more peaceful in some sesne, the laughter they had shared together and the joy they formed from each other was always grabbing at his neck, a constant reminder of the pleasure between them and all he did was scream, scream from the agony, scream from the happiness and scream from the love and when his watchtower shook from the emotion he broke from his mind and came back into the real one, everything was quiet and it was haunting, his scream had silenced everything from the flesh on the wall, the fire that played outside, the monsters that roamed outside and to everything beyond the watchtower.

he blinked for a second and he was out in the balcony, the air was filled with quiet breathing and the wind was tiptoeing it way around smitty whos eyes were beginning to fill with fire and his body was beginning to bleed, his anger within him was starting to become free and when the fire he created to burn cities became sentient he ordered it to kill everything, rip them apart and swallow them.

the gatekeeper sighed as he looked up to see smitty staring out to the world, he could taste the anger in the air and see the blood making its way down the watchtower to poision his creations to order them to kill no doubt, he knew himself that the watchtower can only hold so much and for the first time in forever he heard smitty scream with pure emotion that it shook the world and the watchtower, its only a matter of time before smitty takes it upon himself to leave, take his 'soul' back into the watchtower and awake himself to become real again.

and smitty was indeed trying that, trying to re-birth himself over and over again, he needed john, he needed to end the charade, he needed to stop him, he needed to end everything and e needed to kill him, kill him and bring him back, he needed to bring him back, live the old life they had.

kill him,

bring him back,

kill him

loop it again,

forgive him,

forget him,

love him,

so he took it upon himself to leave, maybe not phsyically but being a 'ghost with powers' as children call him can come in handy so when he left his body and watched as he fell to the ground, he smiled as he dissapeard into the world with only one mission.

kill john.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so it was hard to put into detail of smittys psionic 'abilites', i wanted to explain here that his phsyical body cant leave the watchtower but his 'spirit or soul' can giving him the ablity to appear and dissapear whenever he wants and psycho warp his way between his reality and the 'real reality' just like alma wade from the fear franchise but its so hard to put into detail without people going 'what the fuck is she on about' but i'll give it a go next chapter or whenever and see how it plays out.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 3 is removed cause it sucked so if your wondering where it is its in the trash  
> also spelling mistakes and very bad chapter sorry x

from his kingdom of infernos and starlight silence hit them, the flame of rage had welcomed itself in and took a seat next to the man who wrote the wills of stars, his face had been ripped of its emotion as he stared down at the eyes that evan had given him and saw the ripped sky above the watchtower and the flames that burned around it, the oh so quiet echoed screams of his father was heard around the world, he knew the time would come, when he doesnt know.

fitz stood gently placing the eyes into a nearby cup to drain the blood away from them, he ignored the fires laugh as it burst its way out his kingdom, dropping whispers into the citites around that left people screaming for mercy and ending themselves with a hand across their necks yet fitz done nothing as he closed the wall it had burst through and silenced the area around him as he began to trash the place, his screams more forceful than his fathers as he ripped everything, even the stars that had came to give him peace and the blood in his room had cried as it flowed away from the screaming man.

the broken nebulas around him whispered to him the songs of peace and serenity, dazed by watching their siblings being eaten by the man and his face melting down into nothing but teeth, it only takes a second for a man who had built a home to snap when his home is no longer a home, the nebulas cried roughly as their hearts began to form with the man who was no longer a man but nothing could be done as the man stood strong in his room with dried stars dripping from his fingers and a face dripping forgotten nebulas, his shield had been found by his brothers and was greatful his love had been accepted even after he left them all to sleep away his life.

so he breathed a bit flustered after his tantrum, where that came from he doesnt know but he apologised to no one in particular as he started to pick up the stuff he threw around and a small broken voice made him turn to face it and out popped his brother from the crystal wall.

"evan came by my place, told me that father is free" craig, the lonesome soul asked as he looked around the trashed room that fitz continued to clean up.

"he is free yes, pyshically he's not, did you not see from evans eyes?" fitz answered back, a low voice as he caught a glimpse of craig nervously playing with his fingers.

"i asked him not to give me any, the river showed me more peaceful endings" a shy answer back but strong in voice as craig gave fitzs a smile, craig wasnt one for violence or bad endings.

"you know those endings are never going to happen" fitz asked politely as he finished fixing the room, small bits and pieces still needing fix but he left them and offered craig a seat and a bit to eat, craig nodded sadly as he sat down, breathing harshly as he ran a hand down his face moving slightly as he takes the cup from fitz.

"who is this man called john? i hear his name on the wind" craig said as he placed his cup down on the floor and awaited fitz's answer.

"a man who has forgotten his past and a man who is connected to father" fitz answered back as he watched craig process the information, tiny clogs in his head spinning.

"so they are brothers?"

fitz laughed a little as he waved his hand clearing craig of that thought.

"no, he's his mate, well he was until he forgot everything"

"ah so friends, why didnt you say friends are wonderful"

"oh my god, i mean his mate mate"

"ohh, that mate, your making him seem like an owl"

"dont let evan hear you say that"

laughter followed suit for a while as the night had come in quickly and the room shined with forgotten crystals that began to scroll out the wills for fitz to give to the stars and the waterfalls behind closed doors made their songs loud as they gave peace to the men who looked up towards the glittering sky that allied moons of sorrow, it truely was a sight to look at.

"do you think its time we spoke our truths into the nul asbartha" fitz asked as he raised his arm to the sky and brought down lone stars for him and craig to watch the crows dance with the glitter.

craig stayed silent as he also raised his arm to the sky and with his other hand he began to peel back his skin, no blood or pain followed behind but arrays of milkyways and moons stayed inside his arm and rivers of penumbra flow around his body and his eyes hold the dead yet beautiful planets of saturn and jupiter, perhaps it was time.

he gave fitz the get go as he sat up, moonlight dripping from his nose as he heard fitz stand up and leave to go to the nul asbartha to release their names into the world now that smitty was free, the world has already seen the monsters of the dark below and seen the peace from above.

"wait, before we do this we should speak to them first, brian and marcel will go crazy if you just go ahead and do it!" craig followed behind fitz who he nearly clashed into as he stopped and turned to face craig.

fitz rolled his eyes

"if they start fighting im doing it without asking"

"no no they wont, i'll make sure, go set up and i'll get them"

craig was gone before fitz could even blink, he doesnt even have eyes but anyway.

now by the time craig had gotten back the bickering had already started along with the shade from them all and fitz was going to lose his mind as he stood in the same room as them all so with a loud silence from him they quickly shut up and fitz thanked them.

"now im hoping craig had briefed you on whats happening"

"yeah dads gone off the rails and is hunting john down" marcel chipped in, cocky look on his face.

"let him, stupid planet is shite anyway" brain agreed with marcel, hatered for the earth.

"right okay just because your the devil in human terms doesnt mean you have to act like a cunt" brock chimed in, kicking brain from under the chair.

"for i am the one telling you to shut the fuck up" tyler nipped at brock, shoving glass his way.

"ah family, you've got to love it right?" evan smiled to himself as he played with a small pool of blood.

"shut up" everyone, even fitz and craig joined in.

"ok so whats so important about this john guy, he's human?" marcel asked, eyes trailing around the room.

"think dad wants to you know, do the dirty?" brian laughed at his own words, getting groans out of everyone.

"enough! we arent here to talk about father, we are here to speak our truth into the nul asbartha" fitz calmed the room with his words and the glares he got was almost enough to melt him.

"our truth already? the minute we do that our kingdoms will fall" brian nipped at fitz, rolling his eyes at him.

"oh come on, we can't keep following the will of dark matter, if we shout our truth into nul asbartha we can finally break free and do what we have to do" fitz calmly said back to brian.

"so basically help father drink the universe and birth it again?" evan asked as he pulled an array of jaws from one of his eyes.

"okay thats disgusting and no we're not helping him drink the universe, we're helping john" craig answered back as he turned his face away from the bloody mess.

a small silence and confused looks as they each stare at each other.

"wait wait wait, so your telling me that if, that if we shout our truth into the nul asbartha that our current will breaks and we can actually help john remember who he is and stop the universe from being torn?" brock raises a hand in the air to silence basically everything as he wraps his head around this.

"yes"

the sound of chairs scrapping across the floor and a few claps made fitz put his hands up to stop them from all shouting and to give them pointers, 

"one at a time, we need to start with the first understanding and then so on, use both your names or the will wont break"

"how do you know so much about this?"

"just because i've been sleeping for many years doesnt mean i havent been studying the world, now just get on with it"

"wait dont we need to go the nul asbartha and shout?" 

"no no its okay, i have a crystal from the nul asbartha, all we have to do is cut ourselves with it"

"see if i hear that word one more time im joining dad in killing everything" 

"man i dont know about you but anyone fancy a jog to the nul asbartha?"

"im fucking killing you"

"hey! hey stop, brian get off him, evan you deserved that now shut up, brock say your truth, just stand in the moonlight" 

as his brothers began to leave the room, fitz handed him the crystal and gave him a smile as he took his place in the middle of the moonlight and once he heard the door close he cut himself deep with the crystal and waited until the blood hit the moonlight; 

"I, Yathbek Son Of Jaren The Eternal End and Flase Named Brock the first understanding bind my truth to weave and convert our final shapes when the world drains of light, I, Yathbek The Shapeweaver will not fail"

when his blood was drank by the moonlight the nul asbartha answered back and his will was broken, he left the room with bright eyes and handed the crystal to the second understandning, they continued on.

"I, Kanguul Son Of The Eternal End and Flase Named Evan  the second understanding bind my truth to drink the eyes of the void below forever and share the sight with my brothers, I, Kanguul The Eyedrinker will not fail"

so on,

"I, Thunrac Son Of The Eternal End and False Named Marcel the third understanding bind my truth to resurrect my fallen brothers and drain my own life, I, Thunrac The Hollowed will not fail"

"I, Akubath Son Of The Eternal End and False Named Fitz the fourth understanding bind my truth to seek knowledge and shield my brothers from harm, I, Akubath The Shieldseeker will not fail"

"I, Aloksei Son Of The Eternal End and False Named Craig the fifth understanding bind my truth to never hold lies and to never stop existing, I, Aloksei The Lonesome will not fail"

"I, Halnuk Son Of The Eternal End and Flase Named Brian the sixth understanding bind my truth to cut the world womb and to feast on the flesh, I, Halnuk The Unforgiven One will not fail"

"I, Dalyut Son Of The Eternal End and False Named Tyler the seventh understanding bind my truth to poison those who deny us and to cut down the non-believers, I, Dalyut The Poisonblade will not fail"

and after the moonlight swallowed the last bit of tyler's blood the room shook which caused the rest of the brothers to push in but they made themselves silent as they stared at the butterflies that had encased the room and spoke for the nul asbartha, a loud booming voice from the butterflies.

"I GRANT YOUR TRUTHS BACK BUT THE GATEKEEPER'S WILL HAS BEEN TAKEN, FOLDED BY DARK MATTER, WE CANNOT LOSE HIM"

"go find him, if we lose him then everything is done for" fitz shouted at them all and pointed towards the door, pointed everywhere as his heart was racing.

"for i am the one who asks why do we need scotty? hes just human!" tyler raised his voice as he was getting pushed by fitz and craig.

"he's the most important person in the universe!"

" ** _find him_**!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so just to clear up their wills from the dark matter where false and their truths from their births are real hence the different names


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda short chapter sorry,  
> also spelling mistakes

jaren stood at the edge of his mind and stared into the inferno of starlight that was tearing the skies apart, his body shook as the claws of mankind stole the infernos that kept the wires of sanity stable and he felt double crossed by the creatures that ran amock by his command, the world was dying and everyone knew it, knew the time would soon fade into nothing but dinner for a man consumed by false lies and false stories, time waits until minds have been taken to countdown the destruction of one.

the screams of everything and everyone was no stranger to him as he watched as time ran out, the stillness of the earth slowly broke into pieces of pained messages and mercy being pulled from them, a hallucination of a dream that became realilty that fell into imangination of a lonely man that found comfort in the lies he had told himself to hide the truth from going into the wrong hands.

the heart of the world was falling apart down into the dark below that held its mouth open to the drained life the starlight stole from the skies and he held his hand out to catch the stars that ran away from home and cried their broken nebulas onto his hands, the truth of his sons wre starting to claw at him so he turned his hand and let the nebulas hit the floor with begging cries as his eyes closed to the echoed sounds of his sons.

Kanguul, Yathbek, Thunrac, Akubath, Aloksei, Halnuk, Dalyut, The Seven Sons Of The End..

he breathes slowly and tastes the moons silence as he opens his eyes to be greeted with the sun who was screaming as she was pulled apart and started to bend the defination of the riddles spoken in the lanuague of ignored patients, and he had turned his back on her as he walked alongside the river of teeth that chattered with old converstations, gnashing teeth that held the papers writing of a deaths release, and the echoed laughter of love was far behind him as he walked with closed eyes, flowers burning beneath his feet and grass growing into trees that hold stars imbedded in broken children.

as he tries his hardest not to shift between the joy of what the universe could hold and between the anger of what the universe could do his eyes trailed up to the sky to see constenlations dancing around with the nebulas and the memories of happiness, the loud laughter's, the pleasure and for just a second, just for one little moment in his life he smiled with big cheeks and eyes full of rememberance as he breathed into the air and moved his eyes back to the ground watching as deers pass him by, and he begins trying to calm himself from become happier, he needed to hunt and kill, not remember and love.

but its so hard to forget the person who held your heart so many times, who imprinted their memories on your mind, who loved you no matter the paths you took and who always held their arms open to you no matter what was happening in your life, who took you under their wings when theirs were broken, who changed your life just by a smile and a laugh, who understood your pain just by holding your hand and even when they go they hold themselves onto you so so tightly so you dont fall backwards into the pits that drag you down and make you fly so high that the pain cant keep up with you and finally lets go when you can fly by yourself, peace for both of you when you both dance to the melodies of the planets and thats who john was.

who jaren was is nothing more than a myth and fairytale, the memories that burn in his mind make him want to dance with the songs that hold life and gravity, make him want to sing with the moonlight and scream with so much happiness yet he can't, can't be happy without the touch of the one he wants the most and the one he wants the most is drained from who he was and its so hurtful to feel but he made a promise to kill him and repeat the process until he remembers.

he hears silence for a few seconds before hearing children laugh above him and when he looks up he is greeted with a giant owl with cracked asteriods filed with the northen lights, a crown made out of planets, a mix of galaxies for a body and wings that are nothing more than river of beautiful supernovas that begins to slowly drip to the mountians like a waterfall but with crystals that formed when moonlight touched the beauty of the supernovas and in its talons it holds the moon and sun, and with its beak that forms from the crystals on the ground it speaks, speaks with a voice so loud yet so gentle with its meaning.

" _be still with your fires,_

_listen to the heaviness in your heart,_

_understand what you truly want,_

_to destroy what you once desired,_

_to love what you desire,_

_your heart is fighting through,_

_you created a world with peace in your world of pain,_

_everyone deserves peace after anger,_

_anger makes you a different person,_

_so become the person after that_

_let there be light,_

_find that peace,_

_find him._ "

jaren let his breath go as he watched as the owl bowed at him and erupted into a blazar, so bright that jaren fell to the ground and awoke on the otherside, a hand to his heart as he threatend himself if he even dared cry over what he saw and he knew it was the peace in his mind linking together and all he did was sit, he felt so heavy even though he was nothing but a ghost of himself and when he looked up at the sky, he cried, a cry that shook the area around him but no harm came, just raw emotion as he began to stand with tar slowly falling from one eye and starlight falling from the other.

he knows he's becoming a puzzle piece and he knows what he is.

a being who was about to go against his truth..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that blooming owl bit just took me ages to write and i have no idea why.  
> also if your lost which i dont blame you basically the owl resperents the 'peaceful side' of jaren  
> also shh yes im calling him jaren now on x


End file.
